Where do we go from here?

I was just going to post on FB, but I figured this may be a more appropriate place to say everything right now. A novel of a post is a little more socially acceptable on one’s blog, right?

So if you’ve looked at any form of news or social media today, you know that it’s a dark day for us. For all of us. My heart is heavy tonight.

I have so much to say, but at the same time, I’m at a loss for words. Many of my friends have told me that I have a way with words and I’m thankful that from time to time I have said something in just the right way that it helped or brought comfort but today, I’m just not sure.

I’m so sorry….I’m sorry for the victims and their families. I’m sorry for the officers and their families. I’m sorry for those who witnessed these horrific scenes. I’m sorry that many people feel that they are under attack right now. I’m sorry that some people are being judged by the color of their skin or their chosen career. I’m sorry that so many people are living in fear right now.

I could, and I kind of want to, rant my thoughts and feelings about each incident that has happened, but I think it is best that I don’t. I think at this point the best thing I can do is share a piece of a conversation I had with a friend today. In case you didn’t already know, I’m white. My friend I was speaking with is black. We have so much in common in life, from our hearing losses that we each struggle with, to our adorable kiddos who we can’t stop posting photos of. I told her that one of the only things keeping me together today is my belief in the idea that there are more people out there like her and I who choose to see the humanity and the spirit in people…who see the value in others and what we can teach each other and learn from each other as opposed to putting everyone into an “us” and “them” classification. She said she wants to believe that there are more people who want unity instead of division.

It’s that hope that we need to hold on to now and we need to find others who have it as well, and as a community of people, we need to cultivate and harvest that. We need to take action and show each other and the world that we are all human. Prayer is not enough. Signs are not enough. Blogs and FB posts are NOT ENOUGH!

But you know what is? YOU! YOU are enough! You matter! Your life matters, so go do something good with it! Find a way to help bridge the divide. If you’re not sure how, tell me and I will help you find an avenue to explore to help bridge the gaps in humanity. It may have to do with race, socioeconomics, sexual orientation, whatever….it doesn’t matter how you bridge the gap, but for crying out loud, let’s do this. Life is too short and there are too many beautiful souls and incredible moments we miss out on because we are too afraid…

Something hit me today. It was weird and I really wasn’t expecting it.

When I close my eyes here in my home, and I just listen, I hear the giggles of two littles who love to play and be silly. I hear their big sister who is always so willing to play right along with them. I hear my husband laugh at how ridiculous and funny our kids are. I swear you can truly hear their smiles, as our family loves to be together. My heart is full and I’m smiling ear to ear…and then I open my eyes. Today I saw things a little differently. I saw that my husband is a most beautiful mocha color. The littles are fairer in skin tone, but share many features, and the eldest is a spitting image of her father. It’s not that I’ve never seen these things before, it is that today is the first time that it scared me.

To those who fear what their day holds because of the color of your skin: I’m so sorry that this is your reality. I never have, nor will I ever, know what that feels like in the ways you do, but I am so very sorry. To me, it is the most ludicrous thing to think that someone will fear you or think less of you for the color of your skin. I’m sorry you are being targeted. It’s absurd. It’s ridiculous. And sadly, it’s true. I’m so sorry.

To those who fear what your day holds because of your career choice: I’m so sorry that this is your reality. I never have, nor will I ever, know what that feels like, but I’m so very sorry. I have met so many wonderful officers so I know you aren’t all bad, but there are some who are making your life and your job much more difficult and scary these days. I’m sorry that they make it harder and harder for the very people you have been called to protect and serve, to trust you. I’m sorry you are being targeted. It’s absurd. It’s ridiculous. And sadly, it’s true. I’m so sorry.

I know the outbreak in Dallas tonight isn’t the last one. Please be careful, my friends. Be safe. Be aware. I hope that by some miracle, this scary dynamic and energy we have out there right now changes quickly. We need some love, y’all. Sending all the love I’ve got out tonight. This heavy heart needs to go have a good cry and get some rest.